Melania Trump is excited she’ll be moving soon. “Donald got his butt kicked in the election,” she told The Lint Screen. “Sleepy Joe beat him by five million votes. Five million! But baby Donald has been yelling and screaming, ‘I won, I won!’ He is so angry he had the Secret Service go to an … Read more

The Trump family sticks together like stink on a skunk. Today Eric Trump called The Lint Screen with new wild claims about the 2020 presidential election. “Dad won in a landslide,” the least-liked-by-his-father Trump son said. “The Democrats robbed him blind, and we want justice.” Eric excused himself to make a PB&J sandwich because he … Read more

Ivanka Trump is one hundred percent positive her father won a decisive victory in the presidential election, but even so, she says he may not serve again. “Daddy’s pretty angry,” the first daughter told The Lint Screen. “So many Americans have been mean to him and disrespectful–– even people like Fox and Friends, who he … Read more

The White House is a sad place these days. Following Joe Biden’s decisive defeat of President Donald J. Trump in the presidential election, the mood in the Oval Office has been forlorn and embittered. The Lint Screen relays the following transcript of a recent encounter between President Trump and the ghost of ex-president Richard Nixon. … Read more

It may be all over for Donald J. Trump’s presidency (except for the crying, blaming, and lawsuits), but it appears Joe Biden is America’s next president. And that has some of his most ardent fans enraged. “This shit will not stand,” Tom Ribbens, leader of The Trump Troops, told The Lint Screen. “Donald Trump will … Read more

President Donald J. Trump’s firstborn son Don Jr. is known for being a straight shooter, and he has the presidential 2020 election in his crosshairs. “That thing was a complete travesty of justice,” Donald Trump Jr. told The Lint Screen. “Joe Biden is a dirty cheater. He used dead people and aliens from outer space … Read more