The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.
Florida dictator and presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis (pronounced “DeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeSantis“) has been a major disappointment on the campaign trail. “Ron’s had a few hiccups,” says his campaign manager, Eddie “The Worm” Snoggims. “Many people have noticed that he sometimes can appear a little robotic and awkward around people. We have addressed that issue.” Snoggims explains that … Read more
Clarence Thomas grew up poor in Savannah, Georgia. He vowed, “As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again,” and hit the jackpot when he passed Senate approval to become an Associate Justice after only one-year judiciary experience. It’s been prime rib, lobster tails, and Chateau Latour Premier Grand Cru ever since. “I had … Read more
Poor Donald J. Trump. The man never got a break. At least that’s what he tells The Lint Screen. “I was born into poverty,” he recalls. “Living on the mean streets of Hell’s Kitchen. I had nothing. I ate rats. Such awful meat– rat meat. Stringy. But I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and … Read more
Roy Turner, leader of The Florida Board of Education, thinks slavery has been given a bad rap, and he and his group plan to change its image. “We have been teaching kids all the wrong lessons about slavery,” Turner tells The Lint Screen. “And we are going to right that wrong.” Effective immediately, Florida students … Read more
Looney Lady Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene made a blistering speech at the Turning Point Action Conference recently. She attacked President Joe Biden for “helping people” and “depriving them of the opportunity to pull themselves up by the bootstraps. It’s disgraceful.” Greene, who is rarely tethered to reality, compared Biden to FDR and LBJ. “If you … Read more
Sunny Florida’s dark despot, Gov. Ron DeSantis, is traveling America, making his case for being our next president. He claims his biggest asset is hating. “If someone’s different from me,” DeSantis tells The Lint Screen, “I’ll hate them with the fiery passion of 1,000 hellfires. I’ll take away their rights and freedoms, ban their books, … Read more