-
“Your Stupid Laws Don’t Apply To Me,” Says Meadows
It appears some people are above the law. Trump’s last chief of staff, Mark Meadows, failed to appear for a Friday deposition before the House select committee investigating the January 6 insurrection. “I don’t have to do it,” Meadows boasts to The Lint Screen. “I’ve got my head so far up President Trump’s ass that…
-
Brandon grateful for the tremendous support he’s received
If you have a feather handy, you could use it to knock over Brandon Snarply, a warehouse assistant manager in Little Rock, Arkansas. “I can’t believe how everyone’s talking about me,” the enthusiastic single man told The Lint Screen. “It’s unbelievable. One day you’re just an ordinary Joe, and the next day you hear people…
-
Trump To Pitch in World Series Game 4
Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump will be attending tonight’s fourth World Series Game–– as a pitcher! “I’m an amazing pitcher,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “I have incredible stuff. Fastball, even faster ball, fastest ball ever, curveball, loopy-doodle ball, filibuster ball, and wild pitch. Those batters aren’t going to know what hit them, but…
-
Swamp man Scalise demands “January 6 Freedom Fighters monument”
House Minority Whip Steve Scalise (R-LA) is hotter than a Banty-rooster refused for a low-interest henhouse loan. “I’m sick and tired of these Democrats and their witch hunts,” the Republican lawmaker crows to The Lint Screen. “They’re trying to illegally prosecute the good folks involved with the January 6 liberation when we should be building…
-
“I’ll have Squid Game in my second term,” says Trump
Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump continues his big lie that he won the 2020 election. While he forces all Republican politicians to genuflect to him, Trump is also planning his second term. “If we can’t have a coup to get me in office,” Trump tells The Lint Screen, “then we’ll have to go through…
-
“Trumpers should have hung me January 6,” Pence says
Toilet paper doesn’t know Donald J. Trump’s ass as well as Mike Pence does. The former V.P. still worships his ex-boss, disgraced, twice-impeached ex-President Donald Trump. Even after Trump’s looney tunes, maniac supporters wanted to kill Pence for certifying the election on January 6. “I honestly can’t blame people for wanting to see me strung…