Texas Sen. Ted Cruz is a Clydesdale-size horse’s ass, and he does not support the new bill designed to avoid coup attempts like the one on January 6, 2021, by disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump.
The bipartisan Electoral Count Act, which even has the support of curmudgeon Sen. Mitch McConnell, is designed to reinforce the certification of the Electoral College vote in presidential elections.
“This law is federalizing the vote,” Cruz, Trump’s bidet, whined to The Lint Screen. “The states should select their own representatives. That way, we can make sure Republicans always win. In the 2020 election, we had all sorts of voter fraud. Major cities like Philadelphia, Detroit, Atlanta, and many more allegedly voted for Biden. Yet we know for a fact that Biden cheated because they counted all the black votes. That’s voter fraud. Everyone knows the blacks love Trump. So Trump won in a landslide, he said so himself. Case closed.”
Even though Trump and his lunatic legal team filed over 60 cases of alleged voter fraud, all of the cases got tossed out of court.
“The judges were afraid and didn’t try the cases,” Cruz claims. “They feared the Black Lives Matter people. Trump would be in office right now if there were any justice. No wonder he took all those secret documents to Mar-a-Lago, he couldn’t have Joe Biden and the evil Democrats determined to destroy America reading confidential materials!“
Cruz shakes his bearded pumpkin head.
“We had many loyal patriots try to keep Trump in office, and the bad Capitol cops treated them like criminals. January 6 was a dark day for our democracy.“
Cruz can’t understand why Republicans would support the Electoral Count Act. The pitiful excuse for a human gets choked up and continues.
“If this bill passes, we could see more Democrats win elections,” he declares. “And that’s not right. The Good Lord sent America Donald Trump to save us from the baby-eating Democrats. I fear what will happen if we allow them to continue with their voter fraud.”
The Texan adjusts his necktie. “And for the record,” he says. “I am not prejudiced. I watched The Cosby Show, and I liked Michael Jackson––when he was black.”
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