The People’s House of these United States has been ruined by the inconsiderate occupant who only has a four-year lease, Donald J. Trump.

“The goddamn idiot ruined the place,” claims irate American citizen Nancy Worley of Syracuse, New York. “The White House has always been an American icon, and now this trashy huckster is bulldozing the place to build his gaudy ballroom.”

Other outraged citizens agree.

“It’s ridiculous,” said Brian Hunsford of St. Louis, Missouri. “Trump is a grifter who’ll build some garish gold monstrosity so he and his fat cat billionaire pals can eat steak and lobsters on the taxpayers’ dime. I thought the son of a bitch was supposed to lower inflation and make American lives better. Everything’s much more expensive since he became president. And now I won’t be able to afford health insurance because he gave all his rich pals tax breaks. WTF?!”

Many people are also waking up to the injustice of this administration.

“All these bastards do is enrich themselves,” Emma Tarley of Stockton, California, says. “Trump has his crypto, so anyone can bribe him secretly and get whatever they want. Look at the rogue’s gallery of scum he’s pardoned already. He has an administration of suck-ups, unqualified at every position, all working to make him a fascist leader. The man is a danger to democracy and the American way of life.”

But Trump does still have some support.

“I think the guy’s a god,” says George Santos. “I love the things he’s doing to make America great again. I’ve got no beef whatsoever. He’s the best.”

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Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus.” It’s a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.

The lunatic in the White House is getting worse.

Pedo-Prez Trump tells The Lint Screen that the “great danger and threat in Chicago is very real,” and he explains why.

“I was watching TV last night,” he says. “And I saw a news story about two guys who call themselves ‘The Blues Brothers.’ These thugs were driving like maniacs through Chicago streets, going like a bat out of hell, running red lights, swerving everywhere––they could have killed hundreds, probably thousands of people. Police cars were chasing them—so many cop cars. But the not-so-nice guys refused to stop. There was a huge accident, wrecks like nobody’s ever seen before, and all the cop cars crashed into each other. The bad guys got away. I looked at the destruction and said I’ve got to do something about this. Chicago is a hellhole like Portland, and only I can fix it.”

Trump dispatched his enforcers, Stephen Miller and Pete Hegseth, to eradicate the problem.

“Now we have tremendous ICE forces, incredible warriors who wear masks so blood won’t get on their faces,” Trump smiles. “We’re sending in an army of troops. We’re going to catch these Blues Brothers and deport them. They’ve got to be illegal immigrants playing that black music. Trump will make Chicago great again.”

Trump gives a self-satisfied smirk.

“Then we’re going to do something about these radical liberal cities under attack from flying monkeys. I saw a news report about them the other night. Communist Democrats have an evil witch who sends flying monkeys to attack their enemies. It’s disgraceful.”

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Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus.” It’s a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.

Predator President Trump was not happy watching the Ryder Cup on Sunday.

“Our guys made a valiant effort,” he said. “But ultimately, the American Team was a bunch of losers. A disgrace to our country, the world’s hottest country. That must mean the foreigners rigged the games.”

So, to extract justice, the orange madmen dispatched an ICE good squad that arrested the Ryder Cup winners.

“These golfers were all the worst people in Europe,” Trump explained to The Lint Screen. “Murderers, rapists, insane maniacs. They’re thugs with golf clubs. We can’t have those people in our law-abiding country under the greatest leader of all time. Me.”

The golfers were confiscated by a masked army of ICE agents and taken to a nearby airport. They were herded onto a plane and sent to an unknown location.

“All I can tell you is it’s a very nasty prison in a country that knows how to treat not-so-nice people,” Trump said, smiling. “The best part is I got to keep the Ryder Cup.”

He lifts it and beams.

“I deserve this. I’m the greatest golfer ever. And I deserve at least a dozen Nobel Peace Prizes for the 112 wars I’ve stopped.”

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Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.

Last week’s meeting in China between its leader, Xi Jinping, Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, President Vladimir “The Bad” Putin, Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian, and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un was missing one critical world leader.

“They begged me to attend,” suspected pedo-President Donald Trump tells The Lint Screen, “but I didn’t feel like it. If China were closer, I would have gone. But I’m too busy overseeing the beautification of the White House, the military occupation of Washington, D.C., and my Department of War’s upcoming invasion of Chicago. What they’re doing to hot dogs and pizza is criminal.”

Although Trump wasn’t at the meeting, he reports that he was dearly missed.

“The guys all gathered for a conference call,” Captain Cankles claims. “They had tears in their eyes. All these big, powerful, strong men were crying–– crying like dogs. ‘Please, sir, please come and join us. We love you, sir, and admire the hard work you are doing to make America great again. You are the best president ever, sir. And we’re not just saying that.’ Trump grins. “No one’s ever seen anything like it. They admire me so much.”

Trump said he was touched when North Korea’s leader, Kim Jong Un, made an impassioned plea.”Kim and I have a beautiful relationship,” Trump brags. “Kim wrote me love letters. I’m the only one who could bring peace to North and South Korea. That’s 42 wars I’ve stopped so far, but I get no thanks for that.”

Chief Ghoul Stephen Miller rushes into the room and whispers into his master’s ear. He then scurries away as an angry cat chases the vermin.

“Stephen just said the Nobel Committee has not returned any of his calls about my Prizes,” Trump looks crestfallen. “So, we’re going to be forced to bomb Sweden–– it is Sweden, right? Maybe it’s Switzerland. Or is it Norway?” The addled old man shouts to his personal assistant. ” Becky, get Hegseth on the phone. We’re going to war with Sweden, Switzerland, and Norway!”

Trump smiles. “Watch and see how fast they get me my Nobel Peace Prizes.“

———————————————————————————————-
Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.