Attendees to last week’s CPAC in Dallas got a preview of what’s sure to be the hottest ticket on Broadway this fall––Don’t Cry For Me MAGA Man.

One of the biggest attractions at CPAC was a prison cell constructed with a sobbing MAGA man inside. The prisoner represents MAGA patriots unjustly imprisoned for their treasonous act of trying to overturn a free and fair election. On Friday, Stop the Steal activist Brandon Straka played the weeping prisoner, visited by a comforting angel, batshit crazy Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene.

“My goodness gracious, it was magical,” Katie Winnifort of Hot Springs, Arkansas, tells The Lint Screen. “When I saw Marjorie Taylor Greene enter the cell and kneel before that poor sobbing man, I swear I got a lump in my throat the size of a goiter. A really big goiter. That woman has such incredible star power you couldn’t look away. She’s magnetic!”

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Buddy Hoswell of Dublin, Ohio, agrees. “Marjorie gave comfort to that poor sad man––and it was like Jesus handing out loaves and fishes to folks hungry for a fish sandwich. We watched them in the prison cell, and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house. So naturally, we all started praying. We said a prayer for President Trump, too. That poor man got cheated out of the election.“

Famed Broadway producer Scott Rudin, the man behind many of the Great White Way’s biggest shows (To Kill A Mockingbird, The Book of Mormon, Hello, Dolly!), immediately saw the potential of the CPAC show.

“I’ve been looking for a way to bring MAGA to Broadway,” Rudin says. “And this scene just captured my imagination. I approached Marjorie with the idea, and she loved it. She’s been looking for a vehicle to expand her appeal and said she can do more good in Times Square than in Congress.”

Rudin has hired 100 monkeys to bang away at keyboards and develop a script for his upcoming “Don’t Cry For Me MAGA Man” production.

“It doesn’t matter what the show’s book is,” Rudin says. “People are going to pack the house to see MTG live! I’ve wanted to do a MAGA-themed production for a long time, and Marjorie, as the guardian angel to MAGA crybabies, is money. We’re negotiating for cameos with Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, and Jim Jordan. With any luck, maybe we can even get Trump too! I’m also considering doing a Hang Mike Pence show. We’re talking with his people.”

We can’t wait.

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Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. Also available in audiobook. Click here for a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.