King Donald J. Trump is mightily impressed with the job he is doing leading America.
“It’s incredible how great I am at presidenting,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “No one’s ever seen a leader as popular as I am. The New York Knicks demanded that I attend game three of the NBA Finals. People came to me––big, strong, handsome men in tight chinos with big bulges. Manly men. They had tears in their eyes, and they said, ‘Please, sir, you must be there. The Knicks and their fans need your support, sir. We’ll lose without you.’ So I went to the game, and the Knicks won in a blowout. I guess I’m their good luck charm. The New York crowd loves me. No one’s ever heard cheering that loud before. But I was able to catch forty winks anyway.”
Trump turns his attention to the economy.
“All Americans love the fantastic, amazing job I’m doing,” Trump claims. “Inflation is out of control. Prices just keep going up. People love spending money to boost the economy. Credit card debt is skyrocketing, which is good for my banking pals. And with this strong economy, I’ve never been richer. I’m wetting my beak on everything that comes past my desk: the oligarchs looking for deregulation, the building projects greasing my palm, and the criminals and pedophiles that need pardons. They’re all available for a friendly Trump price. My grifting opportunities are endless.
I also started a new war that no one ever imagined I’d be brave enough to do. And I did it because I’m in charge, not Bibi. I call the shots. Me.”
Trump chuckles and smiles. “No wonder everyone loves Trump. Who knew making America great again would be so much fun? I may never leave this Oval Office. Everyone wants me to stay on forever.”
Aides arrive and carry him out for his hourly diaper change, burping, and a feeding.
Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.
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