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GOP impeaches Mayorkas, “The most evil, dangerous man in history”
Leave it to the Make America Great Again Trump-worshipping Republican Party to save our country from the brink of disaster. The House of Representatives voted 214 to 213 to impeach Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas yesterday after a failed attempt to do so last week. “Americans can sleep soundly tonight,” said House Speaker…
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“Donald and the GOP are great comrades,” says Putin
Russian President Vladimir Putin is walking on air these days. “I have an American Dream Team,” Putin tells The Lint Screen over a Zoom call. “For years, Russia has worked on infiltrating America and destroying democracy from within. So much time and money was wasted. Then I received the gift of Donald Trump.” Putin smirks.…
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Biden brags he’s “matchmaker for my evil domination of America”
Dark Brandon strikes again. MAGA World is abuzz with gonzo conspiracy theories concerning the “alleged romance” between Kansas City superstar wide receiver Travis Kelce and the world’s pop star sweetheart Taylor Swift. “Biden fixed the entire NFL season,” claims Trump 2024 campaign strategist Ralph Juniper. “He pulled strings to get the Chiefs into the Super…
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“We must protect the border security problem until Trump’s in office”
Disgraced twice-impeached, four times indicted, facing 91 felony charges, would-be coup leader ex-President Donald J. Trump is pulling the strings on his puppets to derail any progress on fixing America’s immigration issues. “We must do the right thing for America,” Sen. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell tells The Lint Screen. “We can’t help Biden tighten border…
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Florida Bans Scrabble “To Save The Children,” Says AG
There’s a word for what’s going on in Florida, but since dictionaries and thesauruses have been removed from libraries because they contain “dirty words,” no one is sure what the correct word is for what’s going on. Since wannabe dictator Ron DeSantis became Florida’s Governor, he has enacted many bans and measures to restrict freedom…
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“I can kill anyone whenever I want,” Trump claims
This week, an attorney for disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump made a startling claim to the judges in a federal appeals court when he said the president is immune from prosecution if he has been impeached by the House but not convicted by the Senate. “If that’s the case,” said Trump’s lawyer, D. John…