The GOP received a late Christmas gift with news of classified documents discovered in the properties of President Joe Biden. “This is the worst thing that has ever happened in American history,” a smug Rep. Jim Jordan tells The Lint Screen. Jordan, flexing his new power as Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, is licking his chops in gleeful anticipation … Read more

Now that the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, after fifteen rounds of voting, has elected Rep. Kevin McCarthy as its “Speaker Bitch,” he prepares to make his first statement. McCarthy stands to the microphone and smiles. He says, “We’re ready to get down to business.” Chairman of the Judiciary Committee, Rep. Jim Jordan, pushes him aside and starts yelling.  “And … Read more

Poor, poor, Rep. Kevin McCarthy. The shameless Trump sycophant sold his soul long ago, but that wasn’t enough to make his Republican Congressional colleagues happy. McCarthy always wanted to be Speaker of The House when he grew up, and now the pitiful bastard is promising to do whatever it takes to secure the necessary 218-votes for him to become the … Read more

George Santos is a misunderstood man. The New York congressman-elect is backtracking on many of the wild claims made during his campaign run. Falsehoods pepper his résumé, but he says they are “not intentional––they’re merely miscommunications.” “I didn’t actually win the Nobel Peace Prize,” Santos tells The Lint Screen. “In third grade, I won a Noble Paste … Read more

Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump is not impressed with the House January 6 Committee’s Final Report. “It’s awful,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “The Democrat commies claim my supporters invaded The Capitol, beat up cops, and caused lots of damage. That never happened. MAGA people respect the rule of law and would never trespass. The book has so many lies, it’s … Read more